Well, here I am and it's 4:02 in the morning. It has officially been the longest day of my life. Yesterday morning at 10:45 a.m., Faith and I arrived at the Childrens Pediatric Dentistry. She was scheduled to go in for a routine surgery at 11:00 a.m. By the doctors strict orders, she couldn't have any food or water after midnight. So, as you can imagine, telling a five year old, they can't have breakfast or orange juice in the morning; we had a ruff start to our day.
Well, as soon as we got there they said that it was going to be an hour later before they could start, because they had a patient (two years old) that had to have root canals done on all of her baby teeth. OMG!! Can you believe that? Two? How the heck does that happen? That's some serious neglect, if you ask me. At two, your teeth are just getting their start. I can't imagine having to have all of them replaced with silver caps? At any rate, my heart went out to that baby girl, so we waited patiently. However 12:45 came on a bit longer than anticipated. Thank god for Shane. He had uploaded the new Madagascar "2" movie onto Faith's iPod just before we left this morning. Well, I guess it would be yesterday morning, if you want to get technical... : )
At any rate, it was quite the wait, and Faith was sooooo hungry and thirsty by this point.
Then, the receptionist came to tell me, that it was going to be an additional hour and fifteen minutes. At this point normallly, I would have rescheduled, however Faith had an abscess tooth, and it needed to be taken out as soon as possible. Oh yes, I said the word ABSCESS. My poor baby girl had an abscess tooth.
This all started three months ago when we took Faith into the dentist for her routine check. She had a few cavities and we were gonna get some fillings done on them ...no big deal right? Ummm... YAH RIGHT! After four attempts at the dentist, (three me and one her father... because apparently, "he could get her to do it") we were completely unsuccessful. Faith was deathly afraid of needles, and we couldn't even make it past that part, let alone get a toofer filled or fixed. So, I made the appointment to go to the pediatric dentist. They are trained much better in dealing with these types of situations, and lets face it folks, it's pretty typical at five to be afraid of needles. So, I was a lot more understanding than my mother would have ever been, to say the least.. : )
The problem was, that the decay had moved at such a rapid pace, her teeth were not going to be savable. Three teeth to be exact. One had infected the other and caused sort of a chain reaction so to speak. The pediatric dentist said, that because we had been unsuccessful so many times at the regular dentist, the decay moved too quick and one tooth was abscess, and all three were not savable. WHAT? Yah, I felt terrible. However, all the rest of her teeth looked in great shape so we had that going for us.
So back to the waiting for surgery part! Here I was, 12:45 and had an hour and fifteen minutes to go. It was the longest hour and fifteen minutes....so I thought. Finally, at 1:45, we were called back in for surgery. First, we went into the staging area. This is the part, where the nurse tells Faith to drink some juice, and that she will be back in 30 additional minutes to check on her. WHAT? ANOTHER 30 min? Why the heck didn't they just give it to her, while we were waiting forEVER prior to this point; I will never know. SO... after about 10 min after the "juice," I soon came to realize what my five year old would probably be like, once she made it to her 21st birthday. It was pretty funny, and she was super silly to say the least. I thoroughly enjoyed the part where she continuously shoved her stinky lil foot into her dad's face... HA! She giggled so hard, and she of course, thought it was the funniest thing ever too. The look on his face was priceless. So after 30 min, the nurse came in and took me and Faith (who at this point was completely delirious) to the operating room. There I laid my limp baby girl onto a bed, where she clung to me with the last bit of energy she had left. I whispered in her ear while they put a mask on her face to go to sleep. She was so scared, and all I could do was tell her that mommy is right here sweet heart.
After she fell asleep I got up, turned around, and began the longest day of my life. I thought, that I had prepared myself for this point, and it was going to be just fine, but nothing can ever prepare a parent for a machine, that literally is holding your childs life in it's little gray box. As I turned my head to take one last look, as I walked around the corner, I saw the doctor inserting a tube into my daughters throat, followed by an even smaller tube down her nose. At that point, it hit me. What if something happens while she is on the ventilator? Anything is possible, and if any of you know me, as well as I think you do, you know what my luck is like. But, I had to be strong for my baby. And she was not me. She is Faith. Hence her name, she is the strongest little thing I know.
Then, I was moved to the room that is supposed to be comforting, but is anything but comforting. The room was fine however, I don't think anything could have made me comfortable at this point. As I paced around the room that was the size of my laundry room, I began to say a little prayer. It was like as if, at that very same moment, I could hear her little voice and her arms wrap themselves around me. "It's okay, mommy. Don't be sad."
I don't go to church however, I still am a very spiritual person. I really heard my daughters voice, and to be honest, it was the most comforting voice, that I could have ever heard.
Two hours later, the nurse came to get me to go into the recovery room. There she brought me my limp little girl, and laid her into my arms. Poor little Faith; she had blood all over her little mouth, and she was completely shivering from being in that cold operating room. There I sat in a rocking chair, holding my baby until she awoke. She was still as beautiful as she was the day she was born. My perfect little angel. After about 15 min, She started to wake up. She was in so much pain and was very scared. She sat up really quickly and started to cry. She looked at me with her big brown eyes and all I could said was, "It's okay baby, mama is here." She then started to get really mad. This was to be expected from the amount of medicine that she had been under however, it was still really hard as a mom to see. After about five minutes of complete madness, she laid her head on my chest and fell back to sleep. After I was able to leave and get her into the car, she started to really wake up.
As I leaned in to buckle her up, She whispered, "Mama, I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I gave you a really big hug, because I didn't want you to be sad. How come you were crying?" I looked at her and couldn't say a word. As I held in my tears, I told her that I was crying tears of joy. "Mommy was so happy that you are okay!" was all I could say.
In all of her pain and all that she had been through, all she could think about at that very moment was her mama. As I gave her the biggest hug of my life, all I could think of was; There's something to be said for all of us having a little Faith! I needed her just as much as she needed me. It's so hard to see your babies hurting. It's even harder to see your baby lifeless, on an operating table, hooked up to machines with tubes inside and out. It's the times like these that help to make you a better, stronger, parent I suppose.
So, here I am at 5:52 a.m. now, and I am getting ready to go drive to the cash machine, for a long awaiting arrival from the TOOTH FAIRY!!! : ) Oh man was Faith ever excited when she heard that the dentist had saved her teeth for her, so that she could put them under her pillow. To her that made the whole surgery worth it! What could be better than getting some cold, hard, cash!?
So, with all of that being said, I want to let you all in on a little something, that I live by everyday as a mother.
Hold your angles, and always know how much they mean to you in this life. Love them and take the best care you possible can. They truly are our angles because they came straight from God.
